Epiphany through self pity

This morning I was pretty upset about my husbands questions of what I was doing. It really wasn't that big a deal, I was at a second hand store, shopping for shoes for the baby. However, I decided to be a smarty by telling him where I was and that I was going to by a whole lot of stuff. I was a bit sarcastic bc I knew he would wonder, but I said it anyway. The conversation proceeded with words of annoyance at me shopping yet once again. I was a bit upset. You see, my hubby has had the priviledge of traveling to Cabbo Mexico, which is just one of many trips in the previous months he has had to a beach. While I have been home with the same ole, kids.. at home.. hot then cold weather.. he has been at the beach. I know this is his job, but he gets a lot of perks. Guess I can't fault him for wanting this profession! ANYWAY.. I was a little peeved and conversed that I didn't know what his deal was bc it was just a pair of shoes (that he knew I was going to look for), and that we had some money for me to get them anyway. He said I was right and he was giving me a hard time. Sometimes I wish he just wouldnt bc it really did hurt my feelings, or maybe I should say my pride..
I felt bad about ranting a bit to the total stranger next to me in the store about how he has it so hard at the beack while Im here and hes complaining about me buying a pair of shoes at a second hand store! It wasn't like I was getting them at full price.. and I didn't even end up finding any anyway! She of course was in agreement with me.. but I remembered something I had just heard in my LG at church last Tues.. that sluring a neighbor includes our hubbys!! ARGH! I felt conviction, yet in spite of this revelation and even asking for forgiveness, I started to rant a little again to a friend I saw next whom I was catching up with. I got all the support I needed, but also made sure to say I really have no right to complain bc he is a great provider and really goes above and beyond..
All this to say.. more conviction.. and revelation.. as I was talking to my friend, who has 3 young children and has a hubby a little more typical, who doesn't really do much to help out, and then complains and wonders what she does all day.. HELLO??!! 3 kids!!! I realized I needed to shut up and thank God first of all for my hubby. Second, instead of being in a state of self pity, as this led me to feel like a bad wife too bc I don't ever seem to get as much done, even with the baby as he can do.. and he cleans fast and a lot, I had to wake up. I just prayed God would really help me to view my role as a stay at home mom, and wife, and that he would help me to desire to get things done more.. and not put other things in front of what I really need to do.
I just sucked it up and cleaned the kitchen, living room, our room, and started a lot of laundry.
I want my husband to feel good when he comes home, and always appreciate me. This was part of my self pity, as I feel I haven't done things to the fullest. I want him to call me blessed. Of course, I want this spiritually first, but I also want him to feel at home and at peace when he does come home from trips. I just had a lot to wake up to, but reminded of, and pray about today.. funny how little comments can cause a lot of thought..
I really had been feeling as if I was spending more than I should lately, and was trying to lighten up a lot on that. This just happened to come at the right time for me to get really offended, even though my husband had no clue what I was feeling. I was able to talk to him about it very light heartedly and we laughed together.

Soo.. other than my "waking up" today, I was able to sleep in more after I took my older one to school bc the baby fell back asleep. That was really nice, as I was feeling the time change, and had taken Nyquil the night before. Good thing the older one said something or I may not have woken up at all!

Meghan was adorable today and I was just so thankful for her and loving on her! She was making little noises that she wanted something when I was washing my hands, and she was moving her hands like she was washing them. It is cute to see how she communicates and that she is learning so much. That was really neat to see her showing me she wanted to wash her hands too!

She also has become attached to her Rag.. a diaper rag.. as her blankie. Her older sister did this too when she was young, and I think it was partly bc she fell asleep with it while nursing a lot. It is kinda nice bc we have an abundance of them so they are easy to wash and replace!

The only other really exciting thing that happened.. hmm.. Meghan peed on my bathroom floor! After her bath, I was letting her be naked for a short time while I put some hair styling stuff to smooth/shape/ do SOMETHING with her hair if poss., and when we were leaving the bathroom, I noticed a wetness at the end of my jeans.. felt her and voila, she had peed! Then she decides to give me the diaper bc now it is time to put it on! I looked and sure enough, there was a little puddle right when you walk in, with a smaller one and a trickle where she started.. had to get a wipe and clean it up. She is a little stinker, and my hubby got a kick out of that story! He thought it was pretty funny!
Well better go nod off for now so I can get up tomorrow!!